Friday, May 29, 2009

you want to guess?

i should be at work but i'm so sick! i really felt like shit the whole day yesterday and the boss told me not to overdo it with work so she told me i should take today off if i wasn't feeling good. it felt great to stay in bed this morning, especially when it's cold and gloomy. i had a terrible night yesterday because my coughing was persistent. bubba suggested i take vitamin C pills but i didn't have any so him and sheena went to CVS and bought me a bottle. i took a vitamin C with my cold medicine and i felt very weird. the room was pretty much spinning. i went to bed to lay down and see if it would go away but it was horrible. i ended up just closing my eyes and fell asleep.

so there might be some changes coming up in my life. i don't want to say too much because i pretty much want to keep it to myself but it's exciting. anyone want to guess?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

my body hurts

uggh everything hurts. i went in this morning for my assignment with a temp agency and it wasn't hard but it took a lot out of me. i pretty much was in the filing room alphabetizing their file folders. unfortunately, this lady dumped all the folders into different sections so it was so damn disorganized. just imagine me filling up one of the file cabinets and then have to rearrange it again because i found extra folders laying in different piles. those damn folders weighed a lot too! it didn't help that i was kind of sick and was already feeling hot and light headed. my whole body hurts now though so i hope i can wake up easily tomorrow morning. i'm definitely wearing less layers and comfortable shoes!

uggh i hate feeling sick. i haven't had a cold in so long so i guess it's well overdue. i'm guessing i got sick because i wore shorts and a tank top to sleep and got too cold. i hope it goes away soon because i am miserable. i feel so lifeless, i don't have my usual energy. anyway today was ronell's birthday so we went to red robin in UTC and had dinner. i really didn't want any red meat because i had way too much during our camping trip so i got the whiskey river bbq chicken wrap instead. it was good but there was way too much cheese in it and the texture was odd. alright i think i'm going to sleep soon. goodnight!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

back to school?

i'm in a bit of a funk today. i woke up with a nasty taste in really bitter. that pretty much means i'm sick. yuck, nothing tastes right. anyways i had a great memorial day weekend. my family went on another camping trip in orange county and it was a lot of fun. a ton of family actually came out to this trip so there were tons of cousins and little kids running around. oh yeah, can you say the entire trip was a eating festival? i ate way too much and regretted it at times because i was doing so well this past month. me, ate rosalyn, kuya glenn, and ronell went on an early morning run because we all felt like we needed to do it so that felt really good.

lately, i've been thinking about going back to school. i really thought i was done when i graduated last year, but since it's so hard to find a job and i don't have much experience, i'm going to start looking at graduate schools. i will probably have to stay in san diego to save money because i'm already paying off my student loan. i'm just trying to re-focus because i feel like i'm slowly losing direction of my dream/path. we'll see what happens.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

an awkward run in with the ex

i was on youtube and happened to see a video for alanis morissette's you oughta know video in the acoustic version! freakin amazing!

time to work out! i'm feeling good!

okay time to update. i just got home around half an hour ago and had the most amazing time. i met up with jc, nerissa, and mary at starbuck's to hang out and then decided we were going to downtown. of course jc didn't have proper shoes to wear so we had to go look at a few stores to find it. we ate at in and out first because we were all starving. then we hit up target, payless, big 5, and then marshall's. after that i had to go home and change into proper downtown attire and then met up at nerissa's. we drove to downtown, parked, and then started to walk to our destination. this is where it gets a little awkward. as we cross the street, i see my ex, henry, and a girl cross the street from the opposite side we were crossing. can you say awkward. nerissa and i talked to them for a bit but they were on their way home while we just got there. had small talk and then went our separate ways. unfortunately, my ex didn't bother to introduce the girl to me or any of my friends. it doesn't matter if she was just a friend or his girlfriend. i mean i could tell he was a bit nervous seeing me because i was the same way. but let's face it, we're both old enough to do the introduction thing. that's the thing that really irritated me. i have run into my ex a few times here and there already and while it's never a comfortable situation, it gets easier with time. can you really be friends with your ex again? as much i want to be, i feel it is so hard. there is just too much history and pain there. i'm certain my first love will always have a place in my heart though. i can't possibly erase 4 years.

anyways we went to a bar after that and we asked the bartender to make me a surprise drink and it was strong! it took me awhile to drink it because it started getting nasty but i finished it. then mary bought us a white gummy bear shot which was really good. i'm a cheap drunk so i'm pretty buzzed after that shot and from then on, it was all giggles and crazy talk. we stayed at that bar for a good 2 hours or so and then headed over to confidential and red circle. we didn't stay that long because we were pooped out. well that was my fun and spontaneous night. i need more of those. overall it was a great night. time to sleep! nighty night.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

house full of estrogen

so my pops left for the philippines today and i'm going to miss him. now when i wake up in the morning, i won't have anyone to talk to or bother haha. i totally miss the homeland though! i wish i could go there for a vacation, but being jobless won't allow me the pleasure. i'm excited for the goodies he's going to bring back though! 

in other news, i interviewed with SDG&E last week and had one of my longest interviews ever. i believe it was around 30 minutes, but it was pretty straightforward. i haven't received a phone call yet so maybe i'll find out this week. i'm trying not to put all my eggs in one basket because that's already happened to me this year and i don't want to get all sad if i don't get this job. it's a weird feeling because in life,  you're supposed to have hope for things, but then if you have too much hope and things don't turn out the way you want them to be, then you feel like a failure. that can really screw with your mind. but i guess you aren't human if you've never felt pain or failed at something. 

on to makeup. you guys all probably know how much i love everyday minerals. so the next thing i'm going to splurge on when i get some cash is a 6 piece full sized  kit. of course i'm going to split it because i don't need 6 things for myself. the newest thing they have launched are their plastic compacts for pressed powders. the pressed powders used to come in these cardboard containers, but i think they weren't sturdy enough. they are launching more foundation colors that are coming in the pressed form, and one is luckily in my shade. it would be nice to have my foundation in the pressed form so i can touch up without the mess of the loose mineral foundation. yikes! so if anyone wants to split a kit with me, let me know. i know i'm going to want 2 things, and sheena will probably want 1-2 things, so the rest could be yours. the 6 piece kit is $34 so that would mean each piece would cost less than $6. i can't believe how much i love makeup now! i mean i used to like it a lot back in the day, but i only wore eyeshadow, mascara, and lip gloss. now, i've expanded to blush, foundation, tons of eyeshadow, lipstick, and eye liner. i'm definitely not one to spend all my money on makeup because i'm way into saving money. but when i do buy, i rarely use my own money. i use gift cards, a very small amount of bday/holiday money, and sometimes i get it for free from entering contests. 

in need of some inspiration

it's midnight and my eyes are feeling droopy but i felt the need to be inspired tonight. so i googled inspirational quotes and a ton of websites came up. i just wanted to share the quotes that gave me a good feeling inside and some that i could relate to in my own life. 

  • "The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them"-Thomas Merton

  • "The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear" -William Jennings Bryan

  • "Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see the beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead."- Louisa May Alcott 

  • "Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • "Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains two descriptions: might have, and should have." -Louis E. Boone

Monday, May 11, 2009

social anxiety

do you guys ever feel like you have social anxiety? a couple of years ago, i swear i had it, but i'm trying not to let social situations get the best of me. i guess one of my short comings is that i don't go out enough. i know that for a fact. i am on and off though. one week i'll go out and have so much with my friends, and then next thing you know i have weeks where i don't want to be in social situations. i think it's the weirdest thing ever. i don't remember being so intimidated by people when i was younger. it just came about later in high school and mostly during college. i feel like i lose myself when i'm out and i hate that. me being intimidated means that i can sometimes be a snob..... i hear it alot from family. and yes, i believe i can be a snob. i'm not going to try and deny that. but the thing is, i know i can be so much more friendly towards people--strangers if i didn't have so much anxiety. this is definitely something i'm trying to change about myself. i recognize i have a problem and i'm trying to fix it. it may not happen in a day, but surely i hope i get better over time. the main reason i want to change for the better is to have better relationships with people. i want to be closer to my friends and i want to learn to love myself for who i am. also, i've been getting some pressure to date/find my next boyfriend. i'm only 23 and previously had a 4 1/2 year relationship with someone(give me a break)!!! haha i do understand the reasoning behind it, but i think i need to work on myself a little longer so i can be open to a relationship. 

well, that was quite cathartic. not a lot of people know this about me, but i'm glad i shared it with you. *sigh of relief*

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

mall rat

well hello there. so nerissa and i had a little adventure in escondido. she had to go to the mall but had to pick something up in san pasqual valley so we decided to do that beforehand. it was pretty fun riding along because we saw some interesting things like an ostrich farm! i didn't even know we had any here in san diego but there was a good size farm out there. i'm fascinated by their legs and how they's weird but cool at the same time. anyway so we got to our destination pretty early so we were waiting in the car until she could go inside. then after that we went to north county fair. she ended up buying some earrings from Lucky and i bought some cheap-o sunglasses from nordie's. after that we were pretty hungry so we went to sushiya and had some sushi. then she dropped me off at my house. 

oh yeah, we had such a funny conversation about getting our lady parts checked. it all started because i told her about my recent visit to the doctor to get my pap smear. let me tell was not pleasant. the whole visit made me a little uncomfortable. it didn't help that i wasn't relaxed so the entire thing hurt like a b-i-t-c-h. i felt violated!  i'm glad i got a check up though because i want to know if there is anything wrong with me. i also had to wait half an hour after my appointment to get my first dose of Gardasil. i figured why not? i was already there and i needed the vaccination anyway. in other health related news, i freakin hope i don't have a cavity! my last cleaning was last year and these past couple of days, i've been having a major toothache. i don't know if it's just sensitive or part of my filling came off when i chewed gum or ate something sticky. F! 

Friday, May 1, 2009

fitness update

6 days in a row of running a mile on the treadmill has done me wonders. i can't believe i haven't been doing this before but i feel great. i'm definitely sore at times, but it's really worth it in the end. i should have been suffering from menstrual cramps this week but i'm not! woot woot! i just feel happier and energized now-a-days. i just need to keep up with it, because i do have days where i want to skip a day but end up telling myself that that would be the easy way out. and i guess my mom noticed a difference in my face, well more like my double chin, she says she doesn't see it anymore. hahaha 

time to work out on my arms and abs (you can't see them yet but i hope they pop out soon for their debut =]  IN MY DREAMS!